Rock Bottom

Have you ever hit rock bottom?

Maybe you’re just cruising through life, on autopilot, sure that if you just hustle enough eventually you’ll get to rest. You come home each night and fall to pieces, but this is just a season. One day you’ll have time to take care of whatever it is you keep shoving down.

Then four years goes by.

I had an experience like this, just about a month ago. I’ve been pushing through life and stuffing everything down so that I wouldn’t have to stop. Because there was an end in sight.

I’ve been in a marathon, of sorts. A season of life where I Just. Need. To. Finish.

Then I’ll be able to take care of me.

a 5pm sunset.

It sounds silly, now.

But I convinced myself that I couldn’t ask for help. I knew I was getting bad, I knew that what was going on inside of my head and my body wasn’t right.

But who was I to ask for help when everyone around me has problems of their own?

That’s the very thinking that got me into my mess. I knew for at least a year that I needed help, but when you’re a feeler, when you’re a helper, it seems the last person you can ever give your own medicine to is yourself.

So, after a few years of stuffing, and then a few weeks of really bad self-care, extreme stress, and a day of heavy caffeine, my body rebelled against me.

And I entered into one of the scariest mental and physical battles of my life.

I am feeling much better now (5 weeks later) but I’m still not 100%. I have learned that I have a lot to learn, but I have also found that there is so much grace and hope at the end of your rope.

Here are a few more things I learned and am ever learning how to live out:

1. It’s okay to ask for help.

In fact, it is necessary to ask for help. Jesus intended us to do life together, as a community, with a give and take. I was living in the shadows, telling everyone that I was fine when in reality I knew I was not fine. Not even close. By doing that, I was withholding the blessing of entering into my life from other people, suffering in my own world of isolation, and ignoring God’s command to be vulnerable with my people. Talk about ouch. When I reached rock bottom and I had to ask for help I realized the beauty of God’s design. Yes, it was scary; no, it was not easy. But I experienced a love and level of care that I was blocking out for so long.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

2. S A B B A T H .

Capital letters because this is a big deal.

Sabbath is something that the modern, Western world has completely neglected, and it shows. God designed us to work and to rest. To do our best and to trust Him for the rest. I have not had any sort of Sabbath habit in my life in a very, very long time. But He is calling me back to that, because it’s not just an Old Testament LAW, but a command given at the Creation of everything, and God called it good (Genesis 2).

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from His.

Hebrews 4:9-10

Sidenote: I heard an amazing podcast about Sabbath and I highly recommend you listen to it. This is the message that we need to hear. Click here to listen!

3. We are holistic beings.

I can try to fix my mind by reciting Bible verses over and over and over again, but if I’m not fueling my body with the nutrients that it needs I’m still going to struggle. God created us with a body, a soul, and a spirit, and therefore I must be careful to take care of my body, my mind (soul), and my spiritual health. It’s not just one and done. I’ve been to some doctors and have been sticking to a pretty healthy diet and getting some supplements to help fill in the gaps and it is amazing what eating real food can do for you. Not to mention getting enough sleep, visiting with friends, drinking more water, turning off my phone for a little bit, eating way less sugar, and moving my body. All of these things must be a regular part of our lives if we want to be healthy and functioning in the way God designed us.

He’s not unaware of our humanness, He desires that we steward well the bodies that He gave us.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

4. My God is a faithful God.

With each passing season of life I learn a new level of God’s faithfulness. When I was a teenager my relationship with God was passionate and exciting, and every new thing brought so much joy and emotion. It’s not always full of fireworks like that anymore, but regardless of the season of life God is so present and reliable in my life.

He is the one thing that doesn’t change, the one thing I can count on. When I was at my lowest of lows I felt a sense of relief, because I had finally broken through the facade that I had been living behind and He was still there. In fact, I could almost feel Him more, because finally I wasn’t pretending or hiding.

In my brokenness, I was able to truly see His strength.

I took you from the ends of the earth, from it’s farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I AM with you; do not be dismayed, for I AM your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:9-10

So, if you find yourself at rock bottom, or you’re just pushing through life thinking someday you’ll be okay… I hope these words encourage you and motivate you to reevaluate what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

If you’re in a season of struggle, I hope these words are a comfort to your soul. Because the reality is that it’s okay to struggle and you are not alone. He sees you.

Ultimately, I have been reminded that this life is not the end goal. The troubles of this world are not forever. I spent so much time fixated on things of this world that literally would not matter if I died tomorrow. It’s not worth it. Jesus didn’t call me to that.

Reaching rock bottom is a great place to realize what’s important. I’ve realized that Jesus is my ultimate goal and spending time with Him is the best thing I can do to get through this life in one piece.

So, let’s chase after Jesus and let Him figure out the rest.

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